There were few things in this or any other world that could make Heero Yuy experience that dreaded feeling known as "fear." Oh, despite what he'd like everyone to think, there were a few things. The thought of Dr. J naked for one. Relena on a glomp spree was another. The thought of letting Usagi the Klutz loose anywhere near his Gundam. But now, he was sure he'd found the most frightening thing in the world, even more terrifying than Relena...
Duo high on chocolate.
The already usually genki American was now almost literally bouncing off the walls. Usagi had beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen when she saw him coming towards the apartment, both arms laden down what was quickly becoming Heero's worst nightmare - and he was beginning to wish he'd joined her.
And speaking of Usagi...
"Maa... Duo-chan, I didn't know you were so popular at college," her voice called out from the kitchen. A second later, she peeked around the corner, a red and white apron (which she'd apparently decided was no longer his, but had been a present from Duo to him) wrapped around her body that had stenciled "Kiss the Cook" and handwritten in black permanent marker "And I'll Kill You" on it.
The American stopped bouncing long enough to wink at her. "If you'd bother to go, I bet you'd have gotten lots of chocolates too!"
Thank the gods not. Last thing I need is two bakas on a sugar high.
"Saa... I'll leave school to you, Duo-chan. I was lucky to get out of high school." She threw a piece of food in his general direction. "And Yuy there is too damn smart; he'd have to show his teachers up every day."
He scowled faintly back at her. "Should I go ahead and call Poison Control now, Usagi, or wait till you finish making the kitchen into a toxic waste dump?"
She pulled down the corner of one of her eyes and stuck out her tongue. "I'll have you know, Stick-up-your-ass Yuy-san," he fought the urge to groan at one of the many such nicknames she'd given him, "that I got some cooking pointers!"
This should be interesting. "Oh? Such as...?"
"'I don't know; go ask Ken.' 'I don't know; go ask Aya. 'I don't know; go ask Yohji'," she rattled off, disappearing around the corner, thereby missing both the men sweatdropping. "So I got Omi-kun to show me a few things."
"A few things?" Heero repeated, turning in his computer chair to stare at the open kitchen door.
"Jealous, Yuy?" her voice singsonged out.
"Hai!" Duo echoed a split second later. "Jealous, Yuy?"
"Jealous of what? The chocolate?"
"Iie!" Usagi practically screeched, reappearing at the kitchen door. "Jealous of Omi-kun?"
"Jealous of all the people who gave me chocolate?" Duo continued. One by one, he produced a small card attached to each of the boxes of chocolates. "'To Duo-chan, daisuki, Midoriko-chan.' 'To Duo-sama, zutto daisuki, Ariko-chan.' 'Dear Duo, I love you so much, Sarah.' Need I go on?" he asked, holding up a thick stack of cards.
"Damn it, Duo-chan, I'm getting jealous!" She slipped back in the kitchen and reemerged a few minutes later carrying a few plates of food and snacking on them as she went, before plopping down on the couch beside Duo. "Hmm... better than I thought!"
"Hope it's better than it looks," he commented lazily, turning back around in his chair to face his laptop. That was, of course, before a projectile, vaguely heart-shaped cookie hit the back of his head. "Oi..."He whirled back around, one of his better scowls on his face, catching Usagi in the act of lowering her throwing arm. "Usagi..."
"Don't you even know what today is, Yuy?" she complained, she and Duo sharing a commiserative look.
Today...? It's February, so it's not either of their birthdays or Christmas... so... He shrugged. "No."
Duo looked a bit flabbergasted, then he sighed resignedly, taking a cookie off Usagi's plate. "Today is February 14th,Heero, St. Valentine's Day."
"It's a day for sweethearts," Usagi jumped in, and Duo nodded excitedly. "That's why Duo got so many chocolates!" she continued, snagging one of the caramel-filled ones and popping it in her mouth. She grinned as Heero shot her a Look. "Well, so many more than usual." She glomped onto Duo, snuggling her way into his lap and tucking her head under his chin, grinning as his arms came around her to hold her close. "Our Duo-chan is so popular... All those girls so helplessly stuck on him..."
All those girls...? his mind repeated awkwardly, his eyes flying up to stare at Duo's laughing violet ones as the American hugged the giggling girl in his lap. Duo would never... leave me - us - for them, would he?
He pushed that thought out of his mind and turned his attention to the blonde. "So where were you when I got home, Usagi?"
Immediately, she blushed scarlet before hiding her face in Duo's shirt. "Ano..." the muffled response came.
A suspicious on his face as well, Duo pushed her far enough back to examine her face. "'Ano' what, Usagi?"
"Well, I went shopping with some of my friends -" she nervously started before Heero cut her off with one sharp word.
"Ruka-chan and Michiru-chan and Lina-chan..." She fidgetted off Duo and back onto her side of the couch.
"So two of your friends and your ex-girlfriend?" Duo summed up. She nodded. "And?"
"Well, Michiru-chan drug Ruka-chan to the mall shopping, so Lina-chan and I bummed around for a bit," the words began to speed up now, "and we went shopping and I boughtsomereallyinterestingdoujinshianddon'tyoudaresayanythingYuy..." She paused, out of breath, and glanced back forth between him and Duo.
"You did what?" Duo had to ask.
"She bought some interesting doujinshi," Heero answered, a bit more used to hearing people talk fast after sharing an apartment with the two of them for the last six and a half months. "What kind of interesting doujinshi?"
She shot him a dirty look. "I said not to say anything, Yuy."
Beside her, Duo was bouncing again, serious spell over. "What kind of doujinshi? Huh? Huh? Anything good?"
She cast one more glare in Heero's direction and then lifted up the couch cushion she sat on to pull out a brown paper bag nearly an inch thick. Clearing a bit of space and blushing redder with every volume she set out, she emptied the bag.
Heero couldn't help the look of surprise when she finally finished and stared down at the floor. "Closet yaoi freak?"
Duo looked up from thumbing through the one on top and winked at Heero. "How can she be a closet yaoi freak when she's sleeping with both of us?"
This time both of them shot him a dirty look. "Don't be such a hentai, Duo-chan," Usagi scolded. "Yuy! Give that back!" she cried, trying to snatch back the volume he'd picked up.
He twisted it around to several different angles, all the while keeping it out of her reach. "How is this physically possible?" he muttered aloud.
Before he knew it, both Duo and Usagi stood behind him, staring down at the paper over his shoulders. He glanced up to see them exchanging an equally ecchi look then grinning back down at him. In an eerie unison, they stated, "We could show you..."
First Draft: 28 July 2001
Revision: 14 January 2009
Saa... another chappy done! Time to get back to work on Gods and Other Creatures again, ne?
And I told you it didn't deny any of my other fics... Everyone caught the Dark Side of the Moon reference, right? As you can tell, we're still in the Ultimate Crossover World, demo I'm calling it the Ultimate Crossover World #003 now, because it's the third major draft of it. (And in honor of my being on my third draft of my personal essay for school. ^_~)
Maa maa... and this was written mostly while listening to my Fushigi Yuugi Character Memories CD! (no da)
All right, that's all the closing notes for now. I await my prize!
As for the revisions, I am in the process of converting all my stories with Gundam Wing characters over to traditional spellings. So that means all my "Hiiro"s will become "Heero"s and all my "Ririna"s will become "Relena"s. For clarity's sake.