He shivered as he walked along the sidewalk. The shop was almost in sight; just a few more steps. He could make it a few more steps to the Koneko, and then everything would be okay. Somehow everything would be okay.
Because somehow, things couldn't get any worse.
What would Ken-kun say? I'm supposed to be the optimistic one, aren't I? I don't think I can handle being cheery right now.
And there it was: the Koneko no Sumu Ie. His destination. His hard-earned goal. Just a few steps more. Then he'd be there. Safe haven.
The metal grate at the front of the store was closed, but he was expecting that. And if everything was going as planned, Aya should be at the back door waiting to let him in and...
... and the lingering smell of cigarette smoke, old and new, told him without a doubt that this was not Aya waiting. "You're late, chibi," Yohji's voice echoed through the alley, a mild reproach in his tone.
"Got held up," he answered stiffly.
"Finish your mission?" the older assassin asked. He sounded like he couldn't care less either way; it didn't escape his notice that those green eyes were sweeping him over, for injuries, he presumed.
He nodded once, producing a mini-disk from one of his jackets' pockets. "Got the data. Schwarz showed up on my way out though."
"All four of them?"
Slowly he shook his head. "Just Schuldig."
Yohji's eyes went a little wide. "Did he hurt you?" he demanded, reaching forward to grab his arm.
He pulled back, keeping himself just out of Yohji's reach. "I'm fine," he snapped and instantly regretted it. Smooth. If he wasn't suspicious before, he certainly is now! "I'm fine, Yohji-kun. I just really want to go upstairs and get a shower and go to bed."
Finally, the older man nodded in agreement, stepping just far enough aside to let him past. "You know, if you ever need to talk about anything..."
"I know where your room is, Yohji-kun," he finished, "but I'm really okay."
He climbed the stairs to his apartment above the Koneko and had just stepped in the quiet room when the thought assaulted him. I wish I could tell Yohji-kun, but... I don't want to see him disappointed in me. He pushed the door closed behind him, stripping off his mission gear as he headed towards the shower.
* * * * * * * *
The water was scalding against his skin; he could see it turning his flesh a new shade of pink. As long as it doesn't end up matching Aya-kun's hair..., his weary mind supplied. He grabbed the dwindling bar of soap and tried scrubbing over himself again. It wasn't making any difference; he still didn't feel clean. With a sigh, he cut off the water and grabbed at the towel he'd left sitting just outside the shower. Grasping the soft cloth, he wiped it across first his face then the foggy glass of the mirror before him.
I feel so different. Why don't I look any different?
Thick nasal laughter echoed through his mind, and he fought the urge to wince. Slowly he lifted his eyes back to the mirror, almost expecting to see the Schwarz redhead staring back at him. To his relief, he saw only his own face, but the laughter remained.
'Do you think you'd be rid of me so easily, kitten?' Schuldig laughed again. 'I don't give up my toys that easily.'
He slammed his forehead against the wood of the cabinet, suddenly realizing he'd fallen to his knees at some point, sitting in a naked jumble of limbs on the cold bathroom floor, his towel still clenched in one hand. "Get out of my head... get out of my head," he chanted over and over, his head colliding with the wood with each repetition.
A new blackness threatened to overwhelm his vision, and he could feel a welcoming unconsciousness approaching. At least it would be quiet.
In a beat contrasting with his head colliding with the wood, he heard a second banging sound. "Omi?" came to his ears, muffled slightly.
Oh yeah, that's my name. Baka... He stopped beating his head long enough to call back. "Hai?"
"You all right in there, chibi?" Yohji's voice sounded... almost...
'You're kidding yourself if you think he's worried about you, kitten,' whispered in his mind. 'Just a pipe dream, and you know it.'
"I'm... okay, Yohji-kun."
The doorknob jiggled quietly, but the locked door remained shut. He could almost see Yohji frowning on the other side of the wood. "Open the door, chibi."
Even though the older assassin couldn't see it, he shook his head hard. "... no..."
There was silence on the other side of the door for several long minutes, then he faintly heard the spare key turning in the lock. He reached out to try to hold the door closed; his hand fell short of the doorknob by a good meter or so, and a brunette head appeared in the doorway. Yohji looked the boy over. There was blood pouring from a gash on his head. "You hurt yourself, chibi," he scolded, grabbing a clean towel off the rack. Squatting down in front of the young man, he moved to dab away the blood; Omi flinched back from him.
'Look at the way he's looking at you, kitten. He's going to hurt you,' the voice almost purred in his mind.
Omi glanced at Yohji. The older man just looked determined to help him; perhaps he did care. Yohji lifted the towel again and daubed at the seeping blood. "What happened with Schuldig?" he asked.
Omi turned his eyes away, staring the tile. "Nothing," he hedged. Yohji's hand slipped down his face, pulling his chin up so he can look into Omi's eyes. "Something did happen, Omi, or you wouldn't be acting like this." Yohji slid his hand over Omi's cheek. "So soft, so innocent." The look in his eyes had changed from one of compassion - but to what Omi wasn't sure. Dark emotions swirled in the depths of Yohji's eyes.
'That's desire you see in his eyes, kitten. He wants you. He wants to claim you, mark you, possess you, make you his new toy. Just as I have made you my toy, and we don't let go of our toys easily.'
Omi shuddered at the voice in his head and the hands that were gently running over his body. "Omittchi, did he tease you? Did he touch you, Omi, or was all your pleasure from his mind games?" Rough hands ran over his naked body, pulling sharply at his flaccid member and twisting painfully at his nipples. "He can make the deepest pain feel like the sharpest pleasure." As if to accentuate this point, the sharp painful tugs now set his body on fire with a new sensation, close to pleasure, but reaching for more.
'If you like that, then you'll love what else I can do for you. I know every intimate portion of your mind. I can probe into you pleasure centers and make the deepest pain the most exhilarating pleasure.'
Much to his dismay, he grew harder under Yohji's brutal touch. "Relax, Omi, Schu will help
you enjoy this," he said as he lifted the young man from his sprawling position on the
floor onto his lap. Omi's legs were spread wide as Yohji wrapped his legs around them and
pushed outward. The rough denim rubbed against his flesh, abrading the sensitive skin of Omi's
Hot lips seared a path down his neck as harsh teeth nipped at his soft skin. Omi moaned as his pleasure sensors were overloaded. Yohji slapped him in the face hard. "Scream for me, Omi. Scream for me like you'll scream when I push my full girth into you, ripping you apart." Yohji was back to biting his neck and shoulders, leaving black and blue bruises all over the younger boy's delicate skin. Hot breath fanned over Omi's skin, as bile rolled in his stomach threatening to burst free. Yohji had slid him closer, so that his body was flush with Yohji's clothed form. Soft whispers soon became apparent to his ears. "I'm going to fuck you, Omi. I want to hurt you, and hear you scream. You won't deny me your screams, will you? I've waited so long to hear them." A sob welled up in Omi's throat. This couldn't be happening! He trusted Yohji. Yohji was his friend. But, as Yohji continued biting him and tormenting him, he realized that Yohji had joined the bad ones. Yohji and Schu were in this together.
'You're correct in that, Kitten. Yohji and I have been planning this for months, and now we will all share in this act.' Schuldig moaned in his mind and a corresponding well of passion opened in him. Yohji's denim clad erection was digging into his thigh; the man was more than ready for him. Omi was sure that, between Schuldig and Yohji, there was no way he could escape; he was going to lose his virginity in a horrible violent way. The sob broke free, but if it was from the betrayal of his friend or the desire that coursed through him, he could not be sure.
Yohji slid him off of his lap and stood up. Omi watched as the older man pulled off his shirt and tossed it away. The pants were next. Yohji hissed as the zipper slid over his bulging member. He shimmied out of the pants and stood, naked, looking down at Omi. He licked his lips as his eyes raked over Omi's nude form. He again pulled the young man from the floor and towards the toilet. Closing the lid and seating himself, he pulled Omi onto his lap. He ran his fingers over Omi's shivering form, drinking in the fear that he sensed in the younger man. "Omi, Omi, Omi," the litany tumbled from Yohji's lips as he positioned the boy over his stiff erection.
'I'm going to let you feel the pain, my pet, so you can appreciate the pleasure that I give you later. Yohji so wants to hear you scream. You won't disappoint him, will you? I'll make sure that you don't.'
Grasping the slender hips with both hands, Yohji quickly pulled the boy down, impaling him. Fire raced through Omi's body and he felt as if he would split in two. A loud scream was torn from his lips. "Fuck, yes... Scream for me, Omi," Yohji ground out through clinched teeth.
'Your pain is now pleasure, kitten.' True to his word, the pain subsided to be replaced
with incomparable pleasure. 'This is what you're good for kitten. You're just a toy to be
played with at our will, and your pleasure depends entirely on our whims.'
The older man thrust again and again into Omi's unprepared body. Waves of pleasure and pain rushed over his body. He fought to keep his body from tensing and making the tearing, which he knew was happening, worse. 'Relax, pet. At the rate he's going, this won't last long, and I want to enjoy your minds. Mmmm, I love your fear mixed with his desire; it turns me on. Want to feel what I'm feeling? Of course you do.'
Omi felt a sickening surge of lust crawl up his spine. Schuldig was getting off on Yohji raping him. He wanted to throw up, but Yohji had just decided to shove his tongue down the younger man's throat. Perhaps Schuldig had alerted him, or perhaps he was just being crude. Omi was torn between the pleasure Schuldig was forcing on him and the twinge of pain that he could still feel. Yohji was forcing himself in and out of his body and glancing a small bundle of nerves that were sending pleasant little shivers over his body. He could feel Yohji's body beneath his own tensing as the older man threw his head back. A hand snaked around his erection, which he was rather distressed to find was fully hard. He didn't have time to consider this as Yohji began stroking him in time with his thrusts. His back arched as his body reacted to the rush of pleasure that was replaying itself over and over in his head, in some small part of his mind that was still lucid he registered that it was Schuldig and Yohji's pleasure combined with his own.
A breathy whisper could be heard in his head. 'I knew you would enjoy this.' He didn't want to, but he couldn't help it. Yohji began slamming his hips relentlessly into Omi groaning as his body reached climax. Omi was filled with a warm fluid that triggered his own orgasm. His back arched against Yohji's hands, as shivers racked his body.
Yohji groaned as he felt Omi's passage tighten around him. The younger man was incredibly tight and he became tighter as wave over wave of pleasure rushed through their link. Yohji could hear Schu moaning in his head as the redhead's own orgasm hit him. This act had been well worth the months of planning the two had done. He gently lifted Omi from his lap and sat him on the floor.
It took the taller man almost no time to shimmy back into his pants, not bothering with pulling the shirt back on again. It took him just a minute more to locate a cigarette in the pack that had been in his pants pocket that hadn't gotten bent or squished. Yohji didn't take a second to even glance down at him - not that he was complaining - as he slipped out of the bathroom, apparently confident Omi wouldn't or couldn't attack him just yet. Or that I won't go to the others. I couldn't face Ken or Aya after this. It was bad enough before, when it was just what Schuldig did to my mind, but now this... I can't. They'll see it was my fault, and they'll hate me, send me away...
Sapphire blue eyes slid closed. What's going on around here? Nothing's right anymore... His hand shook as he reached out blindly, snagging the shorts and tee-shirt he wore on missions. Where'd he thrown his boxers, his jackets? He shook his slightly, opening his eyes again. They weren't important; they could wait; he just wanted clothes on his body now. Every limb shook as he tugged the clothes on, suddenly clumsy fingers barely able to work the zipper on the shorts, much less the button. It's not going to take him too long to finish a cigarette... I wonder if he's coming back here... I need to get out of here. I need to get some place safe.
His legs barely felt able to hold the weight of his body, and he held onto or leaned against whatever surface he could find that would hold his weight, whether it was the bathroom counter or the wall in the hallway.
The faint sounds of footsteps on the thinly carpeted floor behind him made him pause just outside his door. Slowly he turned. As he took in the tall, lanky figure walking unhurriedly towards him, his face went paler and paler. His hand lifted towards his doorknob and then dropped. No, can't go in my room. Can't be alone. Can't be alone. Where's Aya? Where's -
Without another thought, he threw himself across the hallway, twisting the doorknob frantically, beating on the door loudly. He could hear the television playing inside; the young man probably couldn't hear him over it. "Ken!" he screamed, the tears finally starting to leak out now. He gave the doorknob another hard twist and it moved in his hands, opening quickly, too quickly for him to keep his balance, tumbling onto the floor. With the last reserves of his strength, he kicked the door closed again; it shut with a resounding slam; and reached up to lock it before he slumped to the floor once more.
"...omi...?" barely penetrated the fog beginning to cover his senses.
He blinked his eyes open - when had he closed them? - and stared at the face before him for a long second before he could place the voice. He had to tell him; he couldn't let him blindly trust him. "K-Ken...c-c-can't t-trust Yoh..." was all he could force past bruised lips before he fell into a welcoming, silent darkness.
28 October 2002
I've been working on this since August. I guess it took me long enough to finish it, eh? This one's my catharsis fic. I think it helped to take out my emotions, my frustrations, like this.