Untitled #004 (A Schwarz short)
by Eternal SailorM (Angel-chan)
Series: Weiss kreuz
Rating: G
Genre: Humour, Stupidity
Summary: I think the word "stupidity" sums it all up.
Archive: If you want it, cool, but e-mail me first.

"A four hundred thousand yen phone bill?" Nagi wondered aloud, staring at the offensive piece of paper as if that would change the numbers somehow.

Crawford growled something in English that sent Schuldig into a fit of laughter; Nagi found himself glad that he hadn't understood it. Once the German's laughter died down, Crawford spoke again. "When I find out which one of you did this..." He let his words trail off, allowing the handgun he set on the table finish the sentence.

"So have you checked the number yet?" Nagi finally ventured to ask.

"About to do that now, Nagi-chan." He shot Schuldig a dirty look as the taller man dialed up the number repeated way too many times on the bill.

Thank you for calling 1-900-4UR-NUTZ. Please pay close attention to the following instructions.

If you would like to have yourself committed, please press "1" now.

If you would like to have a member of your family committed, please press "2" now.

If you have had a close encounter with someone by the name of Farfarello, please hang up and call your local emergency number immediately. Also, please be certain to request an ambulance be sent to your current location.

If you are Farfarello, please stay on the line for your "How to hurt God" tip of the day.

"Farfarello!!"

~~ End it please!!!!! ~~


9 October 2001

Oh gods, I can't believe I wrote this!!! Believe me, it came totally out of nowhere while I was driving to classes and blindsided me like Farfie on a rampage. And I wrote it during my Masterworks of British Literature class... Bad Angel-chan bad!

Oh, and by the way, the phone number... It's something an old friend of mine (Caitlin) and I made up while on an extreme sugar rush. Back then, it was 1-800-4UR-NUTS, though. And that was around seven years ago, since I've had any planning sessions with Cait so...

I'm going to go make some miso soup now and try to forget all about this... Bai!! *runs off*