New Years Challenge Response
by Marika Ikeda

The Criteria:
Your fic must contain the following:
*Yami no Bakura/Yami no Yuugi
*Kaiba with no pants and a fireman's helmet
*Explain the helmet
*Shaadi must appear
*There must be a videocamera at some point
*Yep, there will be drinking games
*The following lines must be used "I didn't know he could bend like that" and "You broke the hikaris".

The Notes:
1) ~~~ will denote that happy thing called a flashback. Half of this is a flashback, as Jounouchi is recanting the whole sordid tale.
2) As it's too long to type Yami no "insert name here", I'll use it every now and then. Otherwise, they're gonna be referred to as Yuugi and Bakura. Just makes it easier on my poor fingers.

He sighed, staring at the videocamera for a moment to make sure the little red "record" light was on before picking up the camera and using it to survey the mess around him. He should've listened to that little nagging voice in the back of his head when it said that this whole thing would become one big fiasco after another, but no, he'd told it to go away and ignored it for the rest of the night.

"...okay, there's Kaiba... and Yuugi... and I think that's Bakura's leg sticking out from under the table, but I can't tell because of the tablecloth... and THAT is the pizza guy. Why he's still here, I have no idea. I think I was in the bathroom for that part..."

Setting the camera down on the coffee table, Jounouchi plopped down on the floor in front of it and sighed, raking his fingers through his hair.

"Um... hi, it's me," he waved at the camera, giving it a tired smile "I'm recording this so you can all watch it later and see just how stupid you look after last night. But considering that Seto might be the only one to NOT remember what happened, maybe I shouldn't bother with a run-down of everything."

He stood up, looking around at the room and its occupants before going back to his little monologue, "Then again, maybe I should. You see, it all started when Seto and I arrived here at Yuugi's...."


"Can I ring the doorbell?"


"Can I ring the doorbell?"


"Can I ring the..."


Jounouchi closed his mouth and pouted, crossing his arms and turning his back on Kaiba who rolled his eyes and knocked as softly as possible, hoping that no one would hear it and he could leave. It wasn't that he didn't want to be there, but he really didn't want to be there. And to top it off, for some reason, Jounouchi seemed to get off on annoying him today. First the incident with the ice cream, then the car, and now this. Kaiba hoped that someone would be nice and let him have his way this time.

Of course, he might as well have asked for it to start raining cookies. No sooner had his hand moved away from the door than it was thrown open by an excited Yami no Yuugi...

...who completely bypassed Kaiba to hug Jounouchi with a bubbly "Bakura and I are so glad you could come! And I see that you even brought that shadow of yours! How sweet! Come in, come in!"

Kaiba blinked, a stunned look on his face. Something was DEFINATELY wrong with this picture. "Sh-sh-SHADOW?!" He didn't have time to be insulted however, as Jounouchi was dragging him into the house before Yuugi could close the door on the blonde's arm.

Inside, Yami no Bakura was sitting on the couch glaring at the newcomers.

"Oh yeah, he looks real thrilled," Kaiba muttered, eyeing the white haired boy.

Jounouchi sat on the floor, as far from Bakura as he could get. Something about the way the other was glaring at him made him uncomfortable. Yuugi perched himself in Bakura's lap, rambling on about what they had to drink. Kaiba tried to slowly inch toward the door. Bakura simply glared at them.

For a while, they sat in silence until Yuugi decided to liven things up by grabbing a deck of playing cards, then hauling Kaiba back from where he was trying to make an escape. "We're going to play a game."

"No we're not."

Yami no Yuugi glared at Kaiba and tightened the hold on his arm. "YES, we are. And you're going to sit and play with the rest of us. Or could it be that you're not mature enough to participate?"

That was all it took for Kaiba to willingly grab the cards from Yuugi and march right back into the room. "Well? I thought we were going to play a game."

Yuugi smirked and went to the kitchen, returning with a few bottles of various types of alcohol. He passed them out to the others then sat back on the couch beside Bakura. "We're playing 'I Never'."

"A drinking game? Why can't we play something else?" Jounouchi wasn't really complaining about it, but with his luck, he'd be dead drunk within the first 20 minutes.


Jounouchi paused in his reminiscing to look around the room and make sure that no one was up yet. He didn't want to put up with them in the condition he just knew they'd be in.

" where was I? Oh yeah... I Never."


By some strange twist of fate, an hour had passed, the game had ended, and Jounouchi was the only one who wasn't the least bit tipsy.

Yami no Yuugi and Yami no Bakura were getting cuddly on the couch. As cute as it was to watch, Jounouchi was more worried about what his dental bills would look like if he didn't look away.

Kaiba on the other hand...


The blonde groaned, smacking himself in the forehead with the heel of his hand. "Remind me again why I begged Yuugi to let you come?"


He cringed on hearing the mangled version of his name and made a mental note to keep alcohol away from Kaiba. Sighing, he glanced up to see what it was that the other boy wanted him to look at.

"Oh yeah," he muttered aloud, "no more alcohol for Seto."

The brunette was 'prancing' around half naked with a beat-up plastic Dollar Store fireman's hat. Jounouchi recognised the hat... it was from an old costume Yuugi'd had. He'd let the blonde wear it to school when they'd had one of those stupid "Spirit Days". Kaiba pranced around for a bit until he ran facefirst into the wall... then it became more of a 'stumbling backward while screaming obscenities at what he hit'.

"What happened to your pants?" Jounouchi looked back to see where the question had come from, and found an amused Bakura with his hand over a giggling Yuugi's mouth.

Kaiba didn't have a chance to reply though, as the doorbell rang.

"IGETIT!" The drunken brunette lurched toward the door, but was beaten by Yuugi who was shrieking something about pizza.

The spiky haired boy opened the door to reveal the pizza delivery man holding one of those oven bags and a two liter bottle of pop. Purple eyes blinked at him. "Shaadi?! You're the pizza guy?!"

"How else did you think I knew where you were all the time? Pizza delivery has eyes everywhere, you know. We've got all your addresses," he looked in at the other three and fixed the gawking blonde with a blank stare. "That's right, Jounouchi Katsuya... I know where you live. We Toweliban know everything!"

Jounouchi went pale.

Yami no Yuugi looked a little unnerved as he shoved money at Shaadi, grabbed the food, and shut the door in his face. "Uh huh. G'night to you too..." He turned back to the others, shaking his head in disbelief. "And here I thought it was because he had the Sennen Key... Shaadi as a pizza guy just seems a little more... creepy."

"He says he knows where I live. He'd better not show up uninvited."

"I think he was just trying to be cryptic... or maybe the gasoline fumes from his delivery car started getting to him," Yuugi reassured him.

With the pizza arrived and sitting in front of them, Bakura, Jounouchi and Yuugi started in on it while Kaiba kept ranting about things he never did.

"Kaiba, for the love of... THE GAME IS OVER!" Bakura threw a pillow at him. "Knock it off!"

The pillow hit Kaiba who fell backwards knocking a picture frame off of the end table. He blinked at the frame then pointed an accusing finger at Bakura. "You! You broke them! You broke the hikaris! You bastard!"

Jounouchi wanted to crawl under the couch. Kaiba may have been his boyfriend, but there are times when even boyfriends merit being locked away in a closet and fed PopTarts under the door... and this was one of those times. "I don't know him, I only date him... that doesn't mean I have to admit to knowing him."

Kaiba didn't stay upright for very long. He eventually fell over and fell asleep on the floor, all curled up, sucking his thumb, in a fireman's helmet and no pants.

"Oh god, that's almost enough to make me go straight," the embarassed blonde whined into his fifth slice of pizza.

He looked up to see that Bakura and Yuugi had abandoned eating pizza in favour of chewing on each other. They'd migrated to underneath the table, their bodies partially obscured by the tablecloth.

"Lovely... I came over with the hope of spending the night with friends and not only am I the only one still completely sober, but I get to sit here by myself while everyone else is asleep or going at it like oversexed rabbits," he sighed, staring at his pizza until an idea struck. "But then again..." He eyed the small digital videocamera sitting on the entertainment unit and grinned.

Glancing around at the others, he stifled a yawn. "I'll do it in the morning."


Jounouchi stretched, wrapping up his story with a shrug.

"And there you have it. That's how it happened. I don't know when Shaadi came back. Probably walked n while everyone was sleeping, but he ate the rest of the pizza, finished off the alcohol, and is currently passed out on the floor with his face in the pizza box... HEY! He's got Kaiba's pants! I wonder where he found those. Maybe I should... ew. I think Kaiba pissed himself. No wonder he took them off."

He picked up the camera again and made another sweep of the room, "See Seto, you look like a dork when you're asleep. I wasn't lying after all. Bakura... yeah, that's his leg... He looks like the cat that got the cream and is too full to bother moving. Yuugi looks as if his spine is broken. I didn't know he could bend like that..."

The camera panned around the room, zooming in on each in turn before Jounouchi turned it around and focused it on himself. "This is why you shouldn't drink, folks. See what happens? It's not pretty."

He grinned and waved at the camera again before shutting it off. The others were going to kill him, but until that moment, the looks on their faces would be priceless.

The Thankies:

Thanks go out to the following: Angel and Katsuko for making the basis of this possible, the Kitty-Bunny for creating this, Max and Sarah for the cookie and purple references, Justin for inspiring the pizza guy into existance, D for the Toweliban, Robin for feeding my ego, and again Max for making me play "I Never" on graduation night. *wipes away a tear* I couldn't have done it without you... even though I could maybe have done without the Kitty-Bunny...