Lament of a Warrior
"Who the man?"
by Chibi Tenshi

Disclaimer: What? I don't own SDK?! *plugs ears* La la la la la...

Notes: This bit of 'writing' (if it can be even called that) came after reading The_Narrator's "Statistically Speaking". Although what I wrote doesn't even come close to her level of talent, I would like to thank her for inspiring me. Having said that, I should really, really stick to writing what I know. The last eight months have been spent working on Mary Sue-age, and now to suddenly switch to writing SDK, everything just came out wrong. XDXDXD I apologize to all you readers for subjecting you to badfic and my stupid sense of humour.

Also, this IS supposed to be a ONE-SHOT though if I receive enough feedback for it, I may continue it (since I'm getting all sorts of bad plot bunnies for it).

Dedications: Kirstian, my brilliant imouto-chan and co-author of insanity. Alyson for always being wonderful and supportive of my crap.

Warnings: OOC Kyo

Pairings: CT/Kyo no wait, wrong fic. Kyo/Yuya

Aggravation came in many forms. For one as powerful as Onime no Kyo was, it was only normal for him to encounter things that irritated him. Not everyone possessed his swordsmanship, his incredible good looks, or unrivalled intelligence. It was simply impossible. As such, it went without saying that one as perfect as him had to tolerate the stupid and clumsy nature of others, and kill them if they overly annoyed him.

It was NEVER supposed to have come in the form of a short, blonde, not-so-curvy (though the top of her kimono might've been gaping a little more than usual), bounty-hunting shrew.

Alas, God had a cruel sense of humour.

Which would explain why said wench was currently tormenting him and making his life a living hell.

She was currently going on and on, nearly foaming at the mouth about whatever it was that she was currently ranting about. With one hand on her hip, the other was gesturing wildly. Splotches of red had appeared on her cheeks, and her brows were knitted in irritation to join the look of pure displeasure upon her face. Coupled with the frown upon her lips, it really wasn't a look that suited her. His mental smirk must've manifested itself outwardly because next thing the long-haired warrior knew, she was poking him in the chest.


Kyo promptly tuned her out again.

It was a brilliant technique that allowed him to keep his sanity. He had first come upon the solution when they first met, which was a stroke of good luck for the silly girl. While he was known as the killer of a thousand men, he wasn't too crazy about slaughtering women and children, even if she happened to be the biggest annoyance he'd ever had the luck of encountering.

And being stuck with, his mind added helpfully.

Like it wasn't bad enough that he had been stuck with the running commentary of he-who-shall-not-be-named. Now his alter-ego, mind, or whatever it was calling itself these days was being vocal, and remarkably wise-ass-ish like its owner. He had gotten rid of one voice. He could easily get rid of the other.

Talking with yourself huh? Wouldn't it be better to talk to Blondie in front of you?

Hell no. He'd subject himself to being a florist long before he did that. Besides, she was still rambling on about something. Curiosity struck, he allowed his senses to tune back in-


-and back out it went.

Experience taught him that the nitwit would continue until she had gotten whatever it was that was bothering her out of her system. It was only at that point that he could deal with her. And by 'deal with her' he really meant that she would get a good groping since he deserved a reward for putting up with her tirades. His hand almost spazzed, fingers twitching in a motion that would no doubt be put to better use if there was a body part.

"KYO!!!!" she thundered, and he winced, wondering for the umpteenth time why he hadn't just killed her the first time he saw her. He was Onime no Kyo, killer of a thousand men, and sake-drinking ladies man. It wasn't because he found her attractive since his tastes never ran towards green-eyed blondes with barely developed chests even if the rear view was rather eye-catching. As he contemplated what she would look like if she smiled at him invitingly (minus clothing), he dodged the incoming object she flung at him with ease.

Her temper had grown worse as of late, no doubt thanks to the adventures they had been through. After their return from the Mibu lands, the little nuisance had barely said a word. No matter how much he tried entertaining himself by surrounding himself with other more beautiful women and spending more of her money on sake, she still hadn't said a thing. There had been no objects being hurled in his direction and no heaving of a barely-developed chest as she raged about his inappropriate behaviour.

It had been strangely quiet.

Kyo hadn't liked it one bit. She was his source of amusement, and usual protocol dictated that until he had grown tired of her, she wasn't allowed to stop. The fact that she was not behaving as usual irritated him to the point that he had actually done something about it.

The handsome swordsman had picked her up bodily and tossed her into a lake filled with algae.

When she re-emerged, he hadn't been able to control the laughter that barked out. She had yelled like a banshee, screamed bloody murder, and she had punched him wherever she could reach and kicked his shins. He still hadn't come to terms at the relief and warmth that pooled in his chest at her reaction, or how that quickly elevated into something else altogether when she had just hugged him suddenly. Her slender arms had wound their way his neck and she had just pressed herself close for one moment.

Then, red-faced, she had left abruptly, leaving him with more than a few things to think about. The traitorous thought that he might've bitten off more than he could chew had been quickly suppressed. But try as he may, nothing could've stopped the look that had appeared on his normally stoic face, or how his feet had seemed to move.

Needless to say, his battleship had been sunk that day.

The dispassionate samurai pushed those memories far, far back. There was no need to dwell over what had happened four months ago, as enjoyable as some of those moments might've been. Kyo longed for some sake preferably many bottles to the point where he could drink himself to a happy, self-indulgent, macho stupor, and stupid blondes did not disturb his peace of mind.


A tick worked itself viciously at the corner of his temple at her interruption. He glared at the wench, who merely crossed her arms and grinned smugly.


"Nothing," she replied sweetly.

"My ass, it's nothing?" he began only to stop himself when he saw her smile widening. Really, she was out of her league here. Didn't she realise she was dealing with a pro here? The master of annoying himself? "Unless you were thinking of undressing me again, and having your way with me?"

Twin spots of red flared on her cheeks. "ONIME NO KYO!!!"

"So? Or maybe you'd like to be on top?"


His smirk grew, enjoying her discomfort immensely. Finally, the ball was back in his court, and he was king of the world again.

"Really, what naughty thoughts must you be thinking? I'm not even sure if you could handle me?"

"I certainly handled enough of you last night," she retorted red-faced. "And this morning, and just an hour ago?"

At that particular bit of reminder, the noise that rose in his brain joined something else.

"... I just needed you to..."

Then, he found himself being snapped out of his lecherous thoughts when she began shaking him. "KYO!!!"



Perhaps if he stared at Tenrou long enough, it would respond to his silent command, float into his hand, and he could commit seppuku.

Her fists were still in his gi, and those tiny hands could really be put to better use. As soon as he turned his senses back on to tell her that, her voice filtered in.

"- name our kid?"

And knocked him off his feet.


He wasn't sure exactly where his voice went, but as soon as he found it, he was going to use it. In the meantime, he was going to have to deal with the minor problem of his heart being lodged in his throat. Even as his inner self was waving the longest and most shiny katana around, Kyo wasn't sure how he was going to react. There was something bubbling within his chest cavity. Images of a blonde-haired, green-eyed little girl as spirited as her mother thunderbolted in his mind, filling him with an emotion that he refused to name.


Her voice was softer than usual, almost hesitant in nature. She still lay on top of him, her weight substantial (though now it made more sense as to why this was the case), but for once he didn't mind it as much as he would normally.

"Are you okay with this?"

He watched as she chewed her lip with uncertainty. The small tremor that went through her body nearly had him wanting to do something unbefitting for a warrior like hold her tight.

"I mean if if you aren't I can take care of the baby myself."

Red eyes flashed briefly in anger at her words. It was their child. She was going nowhere with the brat, and he distinctly remembered not having given her permission to leave him. "You are honestly the stupidest and most annoying woman I have ever met. God help us all if the kid gets your brain."

"ARGH YOU INFURIATING MAN..." she trailed off when his words finally sank in. "Kyo? What're you-"

The hands that lifted her off him were gentle. "We'll have to find different lodging," he told her gruffly. "It'll probably be cheaper to buy a place since you never have enough money. For the sake of course."

Kyo didn't want to think about how brilliant the smile that appeared on her face was. Admittedly, it made her more attractive than usual, but he wasn't going to say a thing about it.

Getting up to his feet, he began strolling ahead. "And the kid better get my looks. We'll never get rid of him if he looks like you."

"Kyo!!!! How do you even know..."

Once again, her tirade faded to the background. He was unusually attentive as he made sure she wouldn't trip, especially since she was stomping beside him and waving her arms like the shrew that she was. Gaze falling to her still-flat stomach, an unfamiliar wave of emotion filled him. Their child was in there. He would not give in to the fear that enemies would not hesitate to use mother or child as a means to get to him. The Red King and the bastard-who-shall-not-be-named had already tried that and Kyo had shown them the error of their ways. It was what happened whenever someone crossed the path of the strongest warrior in Japan.

With that out of the way, masculine pride swept through him. His ego smacked him on the back, congratulated him, and continued waving the long, shiny katana around. As her nagging filled the air, he sighed one last time, bidding farewell to bachelorhood. Of course, he wasn't going to tell her yet... not until they had a place of their own. But for now, life was looking rather enticing, and it had nothing to do with the fact that her backside was curvier than usual.